Restless rantings/let time do all the talking

I thought that I was tired, and yet here I sit, unable to sleep. As I attempt to attain slumber, thoughts run recklessly through my head. What is it that has my mind racing, you might ask? Well that's a good question. I couldn't tell you if I tried. Too much going through my mind, but nothing solid enough that I can pinpoint or explain. I suppose I shall use this stolen moment of the night to blog, briefly. If I'm lucky, it will help to alleviate the unrelenting stomping of the hooves (as my mind is like a racetrack complete with horses galloping around, the horses being my thoughts).

This should be interesting, since I have no idea what it is that I'm going to blog about. Generally, you at least have a starting point in mind before you begin putting words to the screen. A basic idea of where you are going to be taking those words. Some sort of signal that recording them is a better idea than staying silent. But I'm a rebel. Who needs to know where you're going to end up anyway? It'll be more like an adventure this way. Let the shared meditation, or whatever you want to call it, begin!

Well, in regards to my last post: yes, I am upset and/or frustrated. While it is a difficult thing, and I'll probably be dealing with it for a while, I'm not lost in a land of depression or anything. I still smile most every day. I'm still laughing, and enjoying things. My life is still moving forward. Even when it hits me hard, it can't keep me down for every moment of every day. There's always going to be something there to make me smile, even when I don't want to smile anymore. And anyone who knows me, knows that you can't keep laughter from my grips. One of my greatest attributes is possibly my ability to laugh. Although it may very well also be one of my greatest faults, because if it's possible to laugh too much I would be the definition of that possibility. (I may find myself randomly bursting into tears from time to time, but that's only going to last for so long) When I lose the ability to smile or laugh for longer than a few days, that's when you can begin to worry about me. Until then, don't mind me, I'm just fine.

"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." --Author Unknown

And who knows, maybe one day he and I will find ourselves in the same place. Maybe one day we'll get the timing right, and end up together again. Perhaps that dream of mine, hand in hand trying again, is a premonition of sorts. I won't hold my breath for that possibility, but it's a nice thought just the same. Even if it isn't probable. What is it that they always say? Something about, if you love something you have to let it go. Well, that's exactly what I did. So fly free. Find what you need. Be who you're supposed to be. Live, and enjoy your life. That's how it should be. Go and discover yourself. I still felt...feel...the way that I do, and nothing can take that away.

"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was."

Well, if it never comes around again, I know I'll be alright. Sooner or later something else will come along. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't give it another try if it did show up some day, assuming I was in a place in my life to let it happen again. Only time will tell, but that's always the case in life. Time is the only thing that can truly answer anything. Time and God. Heavenly Father also knows what is in store. Even if he lets time do all the talking. I guess everything is all about the when. What is happening when opportunity knocks. Or something along those lines.