Strip poker...for the soul

I suppose tonight is as good as any for one of my rambling blog rants. So here's what's on my mind this time (That is, if you're prepared for another of my crazy thoughts and some more terrifying insight into my head. Otherwise I suggest you stop reading here):

We, as people, can only ever be as great as we allow ourselves to be. Now when I speak of greatness here, I'm not talking about being a super hero, or a world leader, or being renowned, or legendary, or going down in history books. I'm talking about a simple greatness. Some of the greatest people in the world, and in history, go unknown. Undocumented. It's a simple kind of wonderful. But so many people don't ever allow themselves to attain it. For whatever reasons.

For myself it's not about you, or that other girl, or that guy, or "them" whoever them might be. It's not about anybody else at all. It's about me, and only me.

And as for all the rest of you, whomever may be reading these words. For any of you, it's not about me. It's not about that guy living down the street with the cute dog. Or about "that bitch" at work who you're convinced is out to get you. Or the "know it all" in class. It's not about him, her, or that other person. It's not about "them". It's not even about God. It's about you, and only you. Nothing else.

What kind of person do YOU want to be? What can you live with...or die with?

If you were to pass on tomorrow with no more time to change or to do better next time, would you be content with the life that you have lived? Just the one thus far?

Let's forget about religion for a minute here. Set EVERYTHING aside. Religion, society, acceptable social "norms", stereotypes, everything. Drop it all for a moment and just think. Peer inside your own mind. Your own thoughts. Stop letting everything and everyone else think for you, and just think for yourself on this one. Look inside yourself. Only there, not anywhere else. Not to what somebody else has told you to be right or wrong. This is about what YOU define as right or wrong. We're all capable of deciphering this without prompting, yet so many of us never do...

What is right? What is wrong? What is going to make you proud of the person that you are? What is going to help you go to bed at night KNOWING that you have done right? That you have done what's best? That you have made a difference? That you have had a glimmer of greatness?

Do you want to be that jerk in traffic who speeds up when a blinker turns on? Or do you want to be the person who makes room to let the car change lanes? The asshole that cuts somebody off and nearly causes an accident because you're not paying attention and are in a hurry? Or the one who is cautious and courteous?

Do you want to be the person who is too busy avoiding eye contact with other human beings while out in the world that you are oblivious to your surroundings? Or do you want to be the one who notices the woman behind you in the checkout line, with her small child, who only has two items so you let her go ahead of you in line?

Are you the type of person who just walks past, ignoring the elderly woman who dropped her groceries across the floor? Or are you the type to see it, and stop to help her retrieve them all?

You can decide which person to be. You can control your destiny in this way. YOU and only you. Nobody else can make you be a better person. Not your parents. Not your friends. Not your significant others. Not even God. It is something you must decide for yourself, and work toward yourself. For you. Because YOU want it. Not because somebody else told you to.

Let everyone else worry about themselves and their own decisions. Let them all decide which person they will be on their own. Just worry about you, and who you want to be. Let everything else fall away. Just work on your own goals. Because in the end nothing else matters. That person who decided to be a jerk...if you let that make YOU decide to be a jerk, where does that get you? Is that who you pictured yourself becoming as a child growing up? What would four year old you think of current you?

Be kind, courteous, considerate. Waiting five seconds to hold the door open for the stranger behind you is not going to kill you. It won't even make you late! But sharing a smile. The thought behind the gesture, that can mean the difference between gloom and hope in a person's day. You never know how simple things like that can instantly turn a mood around, with so little effort. That, my friends, is how we can achieve greatness right there. Is waiting five seconds to extend such a small gesture really any sort of sacrifice? I would say that it is not, but maybe that is just me. Which was my original point, that's all that matters. So I will try to do this, because it's what I want for myself.

Allow yourself to be great. Greatness isn't about fame, or fortune, or looks, or charm. It's about character. It's about setting out to be the best person you can be. The very best you. Becoming that person that you want yourself to be.

It's not about being perfect, it's about trying. Making an effort each day. Success or failure is often measured with a skewed scale in our modern world. It's not about keeping up with the Jones'. It's about keeping up with your inner self, or rather about not losing sight of that self.

A smile is contagious, so why not spread it around? Who knows, you might even manage to spread it to yourself! You could spontaneously go from a forced smile to a habitual one without even realizing it. All as part of the process of doing whatever it is that you define as right, you could stumble upon happiness and contentment.

I know, it's a shocker. You probably didn't realize that there was a disease which did good instead of harm. Smiling is that disease. Give it a try, I'm sure that you won't regret contracting this ailment.

And even a step farther than the all wonderful smile, is laughter.

Laughter is quite possibly my favorite thing on this entire planet! I'd say that it might even be the most brilliant treasure that we, as a species, possess. Sharing a laugh with someone can carry the weight of the world, and all my worries away. I'm not quite sure how, but it just does. All those moments where I feel in my life "it's either laugh or cry" where things seem so awful it can't be real and yet it is, but somehow I get through it. When you think about it, those are always the stories you laugh about later. The stories that are the most fun to tell and re-tell. And on the flip side, also the stories that are the most fun to hear from others. So if you can laugh in the moment as well, it just might make the punches that much easier to roll with. But that, again, is one of those "at least for me" moments.

I would suggest you give some of these things a try. But don't do it because I said so. It's not about me, it's about you. Do what makes you great, in your own definition of greatness. Not in someone else's definition. Just remember that you are the only thing standing in your way for this. Try not to be afraid to step out of your own way. You may be surprised with the results. Who knows, it may even catch on, one person at a time, making the world a more pleasant place. Even if only making it more pleasant in your own interactions, that's still a step. It's still a glimmer of greatness. Is it not?

Just some food for thought. Or you know, maybe just another of my pointless rantings.

In any case, don't forget to breathe!

Just call me...uh...G.I. Jane??

Is it still closure if it makes you long for something you've lost even more? I am sorely missing some things right now. But knowing the truth, having more facts, that's got to be for the best right? It's always better to have more of the story than to be left in the dark. The more information you have, the more equipped you are to be able to handle any situation. In the immortal words of G.I. Joe: "Knowing is half the battle".

So in any case, I've gained a little "closure". Gained a few answers. A little knowledge...well, a little information. So it's for the best. Or, at least I THINK it's a step in the right direction.

I'm like the little engine that could, just chugging along. Chuggin' and hoping that I'm chuggin' in the right direction, hard to tell if I'm even ON the tracks sometimes, let alone on the right track. Or which direction I'm heading, whether I'm coming or going.

So on the one hand, a little closure. And on the other hand, another person in my life is just causing me to second guess myself...

It's funny how some people can make you feel like you're worth more than you once thought, and how others can make you feel like you're less than you are. Even within the same period of time. The result is me being left without a clue as to what I should do. Frustrated and confused.

Perhaps it's time to focus on other things for a while...

Well I'm going to keep this one short and sweet (for a change, seems my posts are never short! haha)

So until next time, don't forget to breathe!