Yo-yo? Puppet? Toy? Oh boy!

Another bellowing? Yes. I believe it's time once again. However, I need you to bear with me folks, I'm trying something new. Not my typical ranting style...but this just popped into my head and I decided I needed to jot it down. Even if the only result from doing so is just to clear my mind. It may be complete rubbish, but in order to find the diamond in the rough, you have to dig through all the rubble, right? You can't have the gems without someone getting dirty. So here's my way of getting a little mud on the tires? Or something like that.

And so if this becomes my worst post ever, so be it. Not every post can be pure gold. This blog is my emotional outlet. So brace yourselves, because here I go:



I was just a girl who wore her heart on her sleeve, but that never got me anywhere. Like a fool, I kept my heart on a string, setting the stage for all this puppetry. Now I've learned that all those strings only make for vulnerability, they make me ready for the tugging.
Oh, you never could resist tugging at my heart strings, could you? And so, I never realized I was meant for your personal entertainment, but eventually that's how it always went. Every time, I was your whimsical puppet.
Like a yo-yo on my string, you throw me away and then pull me back again.
And again, and again. Round and round, up and down, back and forth.
I never can tell if you're coming or going. Or is it me that's doing all the running?
It always ends the same, and I'm left sitting on the curb just trying to tie off my frayed tips. Until the next time you beckon me one way or another. What if I told you I'm different than anyone you've ever known? You wouldn't notice anyway. Do you ever hear the words that I say?
It's a difficult moment when you realize you've been nothing but a pawn. A pawn in somebody's game. Elaborate or not, the games are never what I want in the end. So I'm letting go, or at least attempting so.
To free my battered heart, perhaps I need to cut these strings. Yes, cut these strings right off.
I once tried boxing this fragile heart up and keeping it on a shelf, which only left me stagnant.
It's time to fly, solo or not I'm looking toward the sky. I know this means leaving you behind, but I'll tell you one thing, boys...this yo-yo here, is through being a toy.
Next time you call, I may not be found. Next time you tug, I'll be long gone. It's okay though, you won't miss me all that much. Because you've always known that toys never did last forever.


***DISCLAIMER*** Before anybody has a chance to get all "up in arms" about this one let me just make sure to state that this post is NOT about any one particular person at all. It's about several situations, all combined. It's about this horrible pattern I've found myself stuck in. It's about ME. About how I feel. It's not about anyone else. No one person in mind. Just me, and the things I've been through all together.
Actually no, scratch that. If somebody wants to get all worked up about it, it's not my fault they have a guilty conscience. Why should I walk on egg shells anyway? Think whatever you want!


Oh yeah, and until next time, just don't forget to breathe!